If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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