I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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