Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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