I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
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I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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