Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize