last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
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okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
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I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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