Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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