I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize