thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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