My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
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Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
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I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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