you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
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he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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