Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize