my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize