He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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