I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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