I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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