The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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