ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
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I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
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I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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