you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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