wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize