woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize