i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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