you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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