We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize