I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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