its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize