Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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