I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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