From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize