He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
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I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
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Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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