I smell stomach acid.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
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Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
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You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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