No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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