You're my little dorito
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize