you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
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Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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