when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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