Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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