I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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