Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
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As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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