i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
two words...techno handjob
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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