so explain again why im purple
no
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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