she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Small penises have feelings too.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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