he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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