Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize