What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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