By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
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She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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