she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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