On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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