Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize