we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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