he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
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just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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