I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize